Three Strikes and Thriving: Lessons Learned from Marrying Mr. Wrong...Three Times
Welcome to my personal romantic comedy, where I've taken three swings at marriage and each time learned something new—not just about relationships, but about myself. It's been a journey of unexpected twists, heartwarming turns, and more than my fair share of lessons in self-discovery. From navigating the ups and downs of partnership to understanding my own needs and desires, each chapter has been its own mini adventure (or misadventure!), teaching me more about love and life than I could have imagined.
Husband Number One: The Young Misfire
I was young, he was in the Navy, and our marriage was like those long sea voyages—mostly me waiting and us realizing we were better as pen pals than partners. While he sailed the oceans, I navigated a sea of realizations that sometimes, you marry because you're more in love with the idea of marriage than the person.
Husband Number Two: The Loneliness Regret
This chapter was written during a storm of grief after losing my parents and grandmother in less than 2 years. He was a verbally abusive alcoholic, a disastrous mistake in a lonely chapter of my life. The end came quickly, thankfully, and with it, a vow to never make choices from a place of such deep sorrow again.
Husband Number Three: Mr. Look-at-Me
Enter the charismatic narcissist with a penchant for infidelity—clearly, a red flag I chose to color blind myself to. His “love” was as shallow as his apologies, and eventually, he followed his cheating script. Thankfully, I exited stage left, and was more than ready to drop the curtain. But in the aftermath, I emerged wiser and more resilient. Learning to trust my instincts and recognize my worth was a crucial act in this drama of life, setting the stage for healthier relationships in the future.
What do all these adventures in matrimony have in common? A rushed journey toward "I do," driven by a longing for family and the fairy tale ending. Now, after a hat-trick of hasty decisions, I've embraced the art of taking it slow, and it's made all the difference.
And Now: The Plot Twist
Here I am, years into a relationship with Rick, a man who's truly a partner in every sense of the word. He's the kind of guy who restores your faith in the good after too much disappointment. He loves unconditionally, understands the sting of betrayal as deeply as I do, and importantly, he is the first partner with whom I've shared everything—there are no secrets between us. We may not be perfect, but we are dedicated to supporting each other in becoming our best selves. Naturally, we have our disagreements, and it’s not always rainbows, but through them, we learn and grow. Together, we've crafted a rhythm that complements both our lives, demonstrating that the best relationships are those you allow to unfold naturally, without rushing to the alter.
We connect over our shared love for quiet evenings and spontaneous road trips, finding joy in the simple harmony of our daily routines. Whether we're sitting by the fire pit on a lazy Sunday or supporting each other through personal challenges, it's clear we're on the same team. This foundation of mutual respect and open communication has not only nurtured our personal growth but has also deepened our bond, making every step of this journey worthwhile.
So, Do We Need That Ring?
The question now isn't just about love—there are logistics to consider, especially with kids in the mix. Legal ties make certain things simpler down the road, but beyond the practicalities, there's something to be said for the commitment that marriage symbolizes. Despite my history, I still believe in its sanctity. Maybe, just maybe, I'm ready to try again, but this time for all the right reasons. For now, Rick and I continue to treasure every moment we share, learning, growing and embracing the journey we're on together.
If I’ve learned anything from my journey, it's that there truly is no need to rush. Good things take time, and the best relationships are those that are allowed to evolve at their own pace. Every experience has taught me more about love, about compromise, and about the joy that comes from truly knowing and being known by another person. As Rick and I look forward, we do so with open hearts and a clear understanding that what we have is worth taking the time to cultivate. Here’s to living and loving at a pace that brings out the best in us both.
To everyone reading this: Never say never, and never rush your happily ever after. Love, like wine, gets better with time, and while you don't need a marriage license to prove your love, sometimes it's the cherry on top of a beautiful journey. Here's to finding and cherishing the right one—whether or not there's a wedding. Cheers to love, learning, and laughing at ourselves along the way!
