The Great Movie Misadventure: Life with a Younger Boyfriend and His Kids

Living with a younger boyfriend and his kids is like being on a sitcom where you’re not sure if you’re the star or the comic relief. Yesterday’s episode? A trip to the movies that proved why Netflix and chill should sometimes be taken literally.

After endless nagging, we decided to brave the cinema. I teamed up with Millie, who’s nearing her seventh birthday but acts like she’s auditioning for a drama school, and we picked a cutesy animated flick. Rick and Max, the preteen who’s too cool for school, went to watch Godzilla stomp around.

Here’s the genius part: Bathroom break before the movie. You’d think I’d dodged the “I need to pee” bullet, right? Wrong. Thirty minutes in, just as the popcorn started tasting like cardboard, Millie pulled the classic bathroom card. Not even halfway through, and she’s squirming and fussing about being full, punctuated with “This is the best movie ever!” Yeah, sure, you're practically writing the film critique without watching.

Meanwhile, I text to check in on Rick. Update: Max is snoring. They're 30 minutes into Godzilla and the kid's out like a light. “max is a mini me”, Rick texts. He’s usually the one falling asleep during every movie. So much for monster action, huh?

After a few more hilarious texts and $100 down the drain, we decided next time we're keeping it home. Streaming movies means you can pause for bathroom breaks, snack refills, or nap times—because apparently, we need them.

Moral of the story? Save your cash, spare the drama, and for goodness' sake, embrace the pause button. Life with kids is wild enough without adding public movie theater escapades to the mix!